A HOPELESS ROMANTIC DATING IN THE MODERN WORLD

As a child I only knew love as a fairytale. Cinderella being swept off her feet by a gorgeous prince, romantic films, kissing in the rain and all stories ending in happily ever after. I grew up watching my parents smiling and laughing, content at life having found their very own perfect love story. The problem I have found with growing up around people in love is that it's meant everything in my childhood has set me up for a life of relative disappointment and incredibly high expectations. I had always believed I would be the lucky one, the one with the classic whirlwind love story like 'Notting Hill', 'Dirty Dancing' and 'You've Got Mail'... sadly, not so much.

In the modern world dating and finding love has become virtually impossible! made more difficult by being a 23 year old with a 90 year olds mentality. I want old fashioned romance; a man to open the door for me, take me on romantic candle-lit dates, ask me how my day was and treat me like an absolute princess. Realistically though, I can't help but think, how is that going to be possible now, when excluding the few lucky exceptions the only way to meet someone is on a dating app?!

Dating apps have completely changed romance, and I'm not so sure it's changed for the better. Thousands and thousands of men or women are now at our disposal to swipe through as if we are shopping in the sweet isle of Waitrose. Ok yes, it gives us this incredible ability to meet people who in a previous life we would never have crossed paths with but it has also created this idea that there is always something better round the corner, or should I say better with every swipe.

We have been exposed to far too much choice now, being given too many options and therefore are never happy with what is right in front of us, always trying to grab the next best thing. This kind of immediate gratification has left us or at least myself feeling at a lost end. In the last few days I have also realised another form of immediate gratification, or immediate satisfaction for want of a better word... is sex. This is something I have come to realise makes us impulsive and as a result makes us lack judgement. I believe we have become afraid of commitment, we are not willing to commit to just one person, putting a label on things or deleting that dating app because we are all too scared of the other person rejecting us.

Of course I cannot speak on behalf of everyone but even I have found after dating someone from a dating app for a few months I was unable to delete the bloody thing despite wanting to commit to someone long term. It did it cross my mind to delete it almost immediately because I knew it was something I wanted to pursue but even saying this I felt like I couldn't as it would potentially leave my guard too low. It's just a way to protect myself or a feeling that I would be 'jinxing' things between him and I when I hadn't had confirmation of what he wanted.

Why are we afraid to commit? Well, I can't speak on everyone's behalf but I have no trust at all, I convince myself the other person will end it so I protect myself from getting hurt by pretending I don't care.

When it comes to dating apps I have a completely split personality. I think the idea that you could connect with a potential soulmate you may have never met without the internet is a fantastic and potentially quite a beautiful thing in itself, however, and not to sound too feminist or anti-men, but the men (and some women) on these dating apps ruin it - not all of them as some are amazing, kind and romantic but a certain few. There is now such an abundance of apps to choose from and I think somewhere along the way they have all lost their true meaning behind them and the reason for them being set up in the first place. Dating apps should not be used for a shag. I mean come on! It even says it in the name ' D A T I N G ', there is a reason they are not call Shagging Apps... although a rather entertaining idea in itself!

I think they have all become a bit of a joke, people lie and pretend they are looking for a relationship just to get the other person into bed and then they leave and continue swiping for the next target! There is even a setting on Bumble now where you can select what you are looking for... I don't know about you but if someone's profile says, looking for 'Something Casual', then it's an immediate NO! It goes back to this idea that we are always leaving the metaphorical door propped ever so slightly open for something better to come along and being unable to commit... I mean I get it kind of... why would you when there is so much on offer now?!

Ok, so maybe I've exaggerated slightly as usual but I find myself being permanently let down when it comes to dating. Let down not only by the man, but also let down by myself as I'm far from perfect too. I'm incredibly sceptical and 'chilled' is not something in my vocabulary and trying to 'go with the flow' as they say and trust in other people rather than just assuming the worst in them is appearing harder than I had initially imagined, but I'm working on it!

I can't say I've found my Mr Right yet and who knows, maybe one day I will find him on a dating app but I think currently I'm stuck in a different decade wanting a 'Sleepless in Seattle' kind of love.

Lots of love x