MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS! 365 DAYS A YEAR

Mental health is a personal battle. It's an illness, but it's an illness that you cannot define with one symptom and is different case by case. It affects people in so many varying ways at so many levels of extremity that it becomes incomparable. Take a physical illness for example, one person may be suffering from a chest infection, while the other a sick bug, both are equally hideous to go through but have completely different symptoms and as a result are treated with different medications. This is how I view mental health and how I believe it should be viewed by everyone. It is an umbrella term used for a long list of issues which although they all stem from the same organ, the brain, the detail and reason behind it is different. Whether it's anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, eating disorders or self harm, they are all very serious issues in their own right but cannot and should not be treated the same way.

You may or may not be aware but this week is mental health awareness week (depending on when you are reading this), and the theme for this year is 'kindness'. With the current world being in the state it is in, this week could not have come at a better time and kindness being a topic more necessary and relevant than ever. Although collectively we are going through a period of turmoil and people are struggling more than ever, this time has really proven that when the going gets tough and it becomes imperative that we support one another and look after each other, we are really able to do so, even if it may be virtually.

We may be living in a pandemic currently, but we are also rapidly heading towards a mental health crisis too. Although it's scary and sad there has been such an increase in mental health issues over the last few months, it seems to have finally made an impact and is no longer something that can be dismissed. Actions are being put in place to encourage people that mental health and wellbeing will soon be seen as something of equal importance to our physical health. Our employers, our friends and even are government are finally beginning to realise that mental health is a global issue which needs to be addressed and hopefully then we will see a rise in funding, a drop in stigma and and an acceptance that it is a disease that needs to be taken notice of. I hope that when life begins to return to normal, mental health will not just be spoken about or discussed for a week or a month of each year, but something that will become 'normal'.

I have always slightly struggled with the concept of mental health awareness week/month because I find myself feeling frustrated that everyone becomes some kind of mental health advocate or ambassador for one week of the year, then for the other 51 weeks in the year completely forget and dismiss the topic. That may be slightly cynical because of course any awareness is incredible but it is going to take more than the odd Instagram post or charity run to change the way mental health is viewed as a whole. There are steps we all need to be taking every week of the year in order to remove the stigmas that are currently attached to our wellbeing. You don't need to raise thousands of pounds for charity, or be active on social media to do this, all we need to do is be kind. Start small, make sure everyone in your friendship groups know how you feel, allow them to feel able to open up to you, and remind each other to not be ashamed of the way they are feeling.

When talking about mental health and advising friends who are going through a bad time, I have occasionally found it incredibly hard to give advice. Supporting your friends and family through times of depression or anxiety can be tough. It puts a serious amount of pressure on yourself to tell someone how to get better and how to get out of the rut they are in, because what worked for you may not necessarily work for the next person. It's easy to feel responsible for someones mental wellbeing when you get too involved, but any advice and support is better than none at all, even if you are simply there to act as a sounding board for them. There is a fine line between giving someone a nudge towards happiness but allowing them to find it on their own, and forcing a list of activities and rituals on someone which will usually only end up overwhelming them even more. Sadly, there is not a golden ticket which will take you straight to happiness, it doesn't work like that. Although there are common themes among recovering individuals or maintaining your mental health, such as exercise, diary keeping, therapy and a healthy lifestyle which aid a clearer mind, you cannot just tell someone to go for a run or take up weight lifting and everything will miraculously get better.

As I said earlier, everyone is different and my road to recovery or ways of dealing with my own individual issues will be different to yours. If you have been reading my blogs for a while, you will know I have struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember, it's a constant issue for me that changes in severity on a weekly or monthly basis. Four years ago it was at it's peak and I was in a painful horrible place both mentally and physically. I struggled with Bulimia and Binge Eating for almost eight years on and off which ultimately led to a bout of depression and found myself at home, overweight, miserable and unable to motivate myself to leave the house.

Every individual recovering from a mental health illness will have a specific memory or time when they were at their lowest, but also their highest, a point that became the start of a new beginning. For me, it was four years ago, walking into that gym and lifting my first weight, for you it might have been reading or painting. I didn't realise it at the time but that first deadlift really did save me. It was the turning point in my life, and since then I have never looked back. Of course I have days or months were I feel myself spiralling back towards my old self and old habits but I have never, and will never return to a place as low as that again.

I have never discussed some elements of my darkest days in my blogs, particularly the topic of self harm, as I believe it to be something too raw and personal and a part of my life I do not feel the need to re-live. I'm incredibly open about my uphill battle with mental health as it helps me see how far I have come, but mostly it allows me to gain perspective on my life and shape the way I treat myself now. I have only recently come to realise that it wasn't just the scratching away of my skin with a pin that was self harming, it was everything. The way I treated my body, whether that was the food I consumed, the food I subsequently threw back up, or the lack of respect for my physical health. All of these things were a form of self harm in one way or another and led me into a deep hole of mental health issues and sadness, and it became something that was unsustainable for me to live happily. If anything I use these painful periods of my life to reflect on and to remind myself to look after my body and my mind so I never return to the person I used to be.

Although my life has changed drastically in the last few years and weight lifting alone is no longer my priority, I have found love in so many aspects of my life to keep me mentally stable and happy most of the time. Now, I exercise almost every day of the week, whether that's training for a marathon, going for a walk, yoga, or training in the gym. I make sure I am active every day. You may think that it is excessive, and in truth I am rather extreme, but the reason I train the way I do is for my mental health and sanity, not to change the way I look and I know this is true for a lot of people. It can be frustrating when you feel judged for your life choices, and I know only too well what it feels like when sometime turns round and says, 'what's happened to you, you used to be so fun and wild, you're so boring now all you do is exercise'. I know it's easier said than done, but if you are going through a period of self acceptance and change, don't let anyone make you feel as though you are small, wrong, stupid, or boring, instead feel proud you are being proactive at making a change in your life, and getting one step closer to living a life that is not consumed by your mental illness.

As humans we are incredibly quick to judge, so my advice is to be mindful of the people around you, be kind and think before you speak or pass judgement on a life that is not your own. We are all culprits, myself included, of saying something we don't mean or commenting on someone else's lifestyle without really thinking about it. Everyone is different, everyone struggles at times, and everyone has a life inside them that cannot be seen outwardly. It's always said that the happiest, loudest, bubbliest people are the ones you need to check in on, and although we should be supporting everyone, this is something I have found an element of truth in. Take me for example, outwardly I come across normal, noisy, happy and confident... but read my blog or get to know me and I'm a total nut job with an endless stream of issues that I am working on every day.

I'm not ashamed of who I am, I'm not ashamed to be open about my history with mental health and eating disorders. I want to let people know it's ok and to feel like they can always open up and talk to someone and not feel ashamed or embarrassed. I can only hope that slowly we will all come to view mental health like this. It should be a conversation that is never closed off or inappropriate to bring up, but something we encourage people to discuss.

It know it can be utterly terrifying to open up to someone when you are feeling low, particularly when getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle, let alone speaking to a friend or going to see a therapist, but with a positive view of the world's stigmas around mental health slowly changing it is hopefully only going to become easier.

I want to make a conscious effort to keep talking about mental health not just for one week a year but 365 days a year, to keep promoting awareness and to keep supporting it in any way I can, whether that's charity runs, simply supporting a friend, writing my blogs to promote some normality around such topics, or maintaining my own mental health and happiness, at least it's a start. If you ever feel in a place of uncertainty and need a sounding board, please reach out to a friend, or family member, or even me!

We all need to be there for one another and make sure the saying 'it's ok to not be ok' is not just a phrase, but a way of life.

Lots of love x